22 It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
23 They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23
Do you ever have those quiet moments where you think back at all of the things that have happened in your life and where you could have been, and SHOULD have been? That happened to me over the weekend, and all I could do was thank God that he showered me with a brand new mercy every single day, knowing I didn’t deserve any of it.
I thank God for my husband. I know he was a gift from God because it takes a special person to deal with me lol. I had decided in my own mind (that’s where I messed up) before we got together that I probably wasn’t going to get married and have a family. I just figured it wasn’t a part of the plan. Yes, I had been in relationships, but if you got on my nerves you had to go. Getting on my nerves was actually a very easy thing to do and got you cut real quick, but my husband let me know he wasn’t going anywhere. I could have an attitude all I wanted but he saw what was really underneath the Ice Queen exterior. We have had our ups and downs and we have hurt each other in the past, but 1 Corinthians 13:8 is REAL, love NEVER fails.
God always gives you what you need, not necessarily what you want (or think you want). I needed someone to tell me to calm down, to support me, to go to war for and with me when I couldn’t fight for myself, to make me laugh, and to do hoodrat things with on a regular basis.
God gave it to me one hundred fold. Along with him, I was blessed with 3 children (and another one on the way!) and a loving family. I know I am blessed because a lot of people can’t say that their in-laws are the bomb.com, but mine are. From day 1, they welcomed me with open arms.
I thank God for protection, healing, and restoration. I had originally thought I was being punished for having an abortion in my late teens. I really believed that I wasn’t going to be able to have children. I had no proof or anything, I just figured God was that upset with me for what I had done. Then I was diagnosed with uterine fibroids and had surgery to remove all of them. I figured I was really done then. But I had to think about how my God operates. First of all, its in His own time, not mine. Then, I knew I had asked for forgiveness years ago for what I had done and I was sincere about it, and it says in 1 John 1:9 that “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” I just hadn’t forgiven myself. Therein lies the problem folks. If God can forgive you, then what makes you think you can’t forgive yourself?? Let that marinate.
One Sunday at church, I was praying during our Prayer of Confession time (where we to to God personally and pray quietly for forgiveness) and I was praying about something non baby related and I heard out of nowhere “your womb is blessed”. I looked up and was looking around the sanctuary and everyone else was deep in prayer, so I put my head back down lol. But ever since then, I knew it would happen one day. Last month I find out that I am pregnant. I was super excited! I had to rewind and think and thank Him for protecting me and keeping me and blessing me when He saw fit. The day I found out was Saturday, November 7. November 8 is the day my father passed away 13 years ago. I’m sad because I won’t see the interaction between my child and my father, BUT I know he knows. That afternoon (on the 8th), we had an afternoon service at another church and they opened the doors of the church. Pretty standard procedure, until they started playing music. Them playing music isn’t what got me, it was the song they chose. The song was Thank You by Saints With A Vision and it was my father’s favorite song and it was played at his funeral. You ever see someone cry during this point in the service and they aren’t giving their life over to God? Me either, but that was me that day lol. I wasn’t sad at all, I took that as God giving me the message I needed to hear from my father.
No matter what you have done in your past, no matter what you have gone through, how you have been hurt, how you have hurt other people, God is in the forgiving business 24/7. Nothing is too big for Him. Don’t ever think that God won’t bless you. Most of the time He already has and you are so focused on the problem that you don’t see it. It’s not a “big” blessing all the time. He will bless you how He sees fit, so just because it doesn’t come wrapped up the way YOU think it should, doesn’t mean it isn’t from God. He knows what you need better than you do. God is a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 900th chance God. We all fall short. We don’t do what we are supposed to do all of the time, but He loves us anyway.
The doors of the church are open…..