Some years ago when I first got married, whenever my husband and I would get into a disagreement. I would get upset, my feelings would be hurt and I didn’t want to be around him.Whenever I was angry with him I would need to leave his presence. So, without much thought, I would pack up the kids and take a 45 min drive to my mothers. Having no contact with my husband, sometimes I would stay a night or more way. Yet, I knew each time I left. I would eventually come back home, I just needed time to cool off. It wasn’t until I received wise counsel from a friend that made me rethink my choices, learn to communicate and not run whenever my husband and I didn’t see eye to eye.
My husband Brian is very laid back. Very reserved and above all consistent in mood. And me? Well, I can be emotional, serious and very uptight. In the past, very immaturely, whenever my husband and I didn’t see eye to eye, he didn’t feel the same way I did about something or he didn’t react the way in which I’d like or had imagined, it would upset me. Running away to my mother’s was always easy because there was no tension, I could get wise counsel and it was relaxing. Mamas are always there for us with open arms ;o). One evening while way, I was talking to my dear friend on the phone and in general conversation she asked where I was. I told her I was at my mom’s and I had been there for the weekend. My friend then explained to me, that I was doing that all too often and I needed to stop and stay home. She had told me that I was leaving the door open for the enemy to come in. She was absolutely right.
When I would come back home from my mothers each time I had left, although I was cooled off and had a level head. It was difficult to bring up the issue to my husband that happened days ago because Brian would be upset that I had left the house for the weekend without communication and he was right to feel that way. So there was more tension between him and I than when I had initially left. What worked for me to leave and regain my thoughts and clarity, did not work for him. His desire each time that I left, was to talk it out and get it resolved. I had not allowed that. All along I thought I was right with running away and it wasn’t until my friend, being honest with me, that I began to see the truth about how much my actions had hurt my marriage, my husband and how I had let the enemy in.
“The thief come only to steal, kill and destroy…” John 10:10 – NIV
L.A.W. (Ladies After Wisdom), in John 10:10 Jesus speaks of how the enemy comes to steal kill and destroy and that is in all areas of our lives including our marriages and other relationships, whether it be with friends or family. And the enemy is oh so clever. All the while, I was thinking I was right in my choices and I was wrong, causing a wedge with my husband and I. A wedge in communication, intimacy and our faith in one another. That’s just what the enemy wanted. I am grateful now that when our disagreements and tough times come, I do not run (don’t mean I don’t want to at times :o). I want my husband to feel secure about our marriage, I try my best to effectively communicate. I value my marriage and the relationships in my life.
Ladies After Wisdom (L.A.W.), what are you doing or saying to open the door to the enemy in your marriage? Is there anything that you do or say or possibly don’t do or don’t say that could be making a profound negative impact in your marriage? It’s time to ask yourself those questions. Aren’t you in it forever? Marriage is a beautiful gift, having the potential to fill your life with so much joy and wisdom. Also, marriage can and will lead you to a deeper and stronger relationship with God and that’s all of our purpose here on earth. The enemy will have you believing a lie. Get clarity from God and take ownership in your faults and shortcomings. Ask God what you can you do to strengthen, encourage and better your marriage. There will be rough patches however, if you stay in your word and listen to what the Holy Spirit is revealing to you, you will mature in gaining wisdom and insight. That will lead you to make the right choices. Also, no matter the hardship, speak life to your marriage and to your spouse. Its easy to let the enemy in…but its hard to get him out. So use wisdom.
And for my Ladies After Wisdom (L.A.W.) who are not married. Reflect on the close relationships in your life, whether it be friends, family coworkers etc and see if you are leaving any doors open. For any doors that the enemy may have come through, go back and close those doors. Learn effective communication and make peace with everyone. It’s so important that through our actions we lead people to God, instead of away. Ladies After Wisdom, I constantly pray for you. I love you. All is well.
Read: John 10:10, Romans 12:18
Affirmation: I leave no doors open for the enemy, I am a great communicator.
Prayer: Dear Father, I love You. You are so precious to me and I value Your love for me. Father, the relationships I have in my life are so important to me. I desire to have strong healthy relationships. Forgive me Lord, for any doors I have allowed the enemy to walk through. I ask that you help me close those doors so that I may make peace with everyone. Show me where I have done wrong and Bless me Father to not run, yet stand strong and effectively communicate when things get rough. Bless my marriage Father, that we may have increased laughter, joy, peace and unconditional love for one another.
In Jesus Name,