I need help!! These are probably the three least uttered words by all (or most) women. Let’s be honest. We all want to be superwoman, supermom, superwife, super-volunteer and any other derivative of super that we can be. And it’s an admirable trait, but one that is running us in the ground and getting us no closer to truly being SUPER.
I have to admit that I am sometimes SUPER prideful. I have truly suffered under the hands of my own pride and I have consistently been praying about it. So I can smell pride a mile away. I recently had to pull tooth and nail to get a friend to accept help from me when I know she needed it. She never would have just came out and said, “I need help,” but I offered and nearly demanded her to take my assistance. And it PISSED ME OFF when she keep refusing! I’m sitting here like, “LADY! If you don’t get off your high horse and take this #%$^ HELP!!”
But as soon as I found myself getting upset with her I had to reflect upon myself and shake my head. Isn’t this how we sometimes act in our relationships with others and with God? We don’t trust them enough to handle our mess, so we withhold it all until it weighs us down. We don’t believe we’re worthy to be helped, to be shown grace, to be loved. And we push people (and God) away while we pridefully struggle alone. Then we have the nerve to get upset and claim nobody is here for us and we’re so alone! WTW!?!
Saying “I need help” puts us in a place of vulnerability that most of us aren’t used to. At least I know I am not. I never really saw my mom ask for help when she needed it most. But she always seemed to have it together. As an adult I know she was just shielding me from having to worry about things a kid shouldn’t have to worry about. But it has put this false sense of needing to be independent in my head that I am slowly but surely shedding. I’ve been so miserable trying to do everything myself and inevitably failing. We are made for partnership and to be there for others. What we’re really afraid of is rejection and being lefto ut in the cold from depending upon others. But everyone isn’t always out to harm us. Some people really want to be there to help us along our journey.
I spoke to my last boyfriend this week and something he said to me pierced my soul. He said, “As beautiful as you are it’s almost like you felt at times that you weren’t worthy to be happy. Like you just couldn’t be secure with things going good. It broke my heart when it seemed like you weren’t seeing what I saw in you.” Here’s the thing, in this relationship I was fighting against my own peace and happiness by trying to carry the load all on my own. I didn’t trust him to be there to support me and love me how I know in my heart I desired to be loved and supported. And now I’m single! (LOL no LOL)
The moral of my story is, let people in and let them help you. Don’t hustle backwards, ladies. Your mess isn’t the only mess in the world. We’re all carrying loads of junk that we need to let go or trust someone else enough to help us handle. When you open yourself up, you are able to not only see the light in others but you also free others to do the same. When those dark places in your life are exposed they can no longer have power over you. Don’t block someone else’s blessings by trying to be so SUPER all the time. I need help. And you do to!