I’s Married Now!

Could the divorce rate in America be high because we separate the wedding ceremony from God? We separate what was God ordained and took it to make it something for show and a trophy to appear we have arrived like Suge Avery did in the movie, ” The Color Purple”? Somehow God has been lost in translation in this sacred and serious beautiful sacrifice which is MARRIAGE.

Now this may be a touchy blog for most (smile) but it is much needed. This is coming from a person that has been married, divorced, and still currently and happily single for this season.  A testimony of a person that didn’t let the outcome of what was intended to last for a lifetime, ruin and disturb the rhythm of her heart. I still very much believe in love because I live for God. With that said, I wanted to let you all know I am not speaking from a place of bitterness,  now let us get down to the nitty gritty ! (rubs hands together)

This blog sparked from a controversy that took place online in which a close friend of mine posted on her Facebook page on why single women gave the title of “HUSBAND” to their boyfriend or fiancé. The response to the post was overwhelming and shocking due to the fact that some women were actually offended that they were “rebuked” for calling their fiancé and boyfriend their husbands. Do we understand the seriousness of these titles? This is not only for women but men as well. Why call your girlfriend/fiancé’ your wife when you hadn’t exchanged those vows? It brings me back to what was stated earlier in the blog. God has been lost in translation in the sacred and seriousness of Marriage.  God is the creator of marriage. His design is specific and meticulous even down to the titles.  Even in scripture it states:

Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Genesis 2:22-24 (NIV)

And in Ephesians 5:25 its states:

“For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.”

With these titles of “husband and wife” that are freely thrown around, have anyone became one flesh? Does the one you call “husband” love you as Christ loved the church? Does who you call husband or wife fit any of these God given descriptions? Because the way that I understand the scripture is that pretty much Marriage is important and serious and it was created by God when he made Eve from Adam’s flesh. You cannot give these permanent titles to semi- permanent people!  It makes absolutely no sense!  Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh- half of these men or women in relationships wouldn’t give each other their last chicken wing if they were hungry (lol).

Now I touched on the titles but it is not only that in which I feel God has been lost in translation of marriage it’s the meaning of the ceremony. I even ran across someone that believed worship and/or praise from either spouse should not be part of the ceremony. So, you mean to tell me, you want to participate in a God ordained union but you don’t want God to be on program? Is He only allowed to be present on Sunday mornings and when you feel like dealing with Him? Jesus please help the Saints!

My prayer is that singles will read this blog and take a serious look regarding marriage.  I got married to my ex-husband out of loneliness, impatience, insecurities, and lack of self-worth.  To sum it up I settled and really didn’t take how serious this covenant of marriage was even though I grew up in the church. We might find it cute and giggle out of acceptance when a man or woman call us “wifey”  or “hubby” because it fills a void that was not first filled by God.  We obviously take those names to heart because the result of us accepting these titles without the proper God order is that we end up “shacking up” with this person and engage in pre-marital sex.

We do these things because deep down that person calling us their husband and wife validates us and we make these, I’ll say it again, permanent moves with these semi-permanent people all because we were trying to fill a God intended space with human space. It defies the divine order of things. God has to fill ALL those voids in your life first before anyone else comes along. When that person is added after God they are only there then to serve God’s purpose for your life not your purpose for your life.  I pray that this Blessed you all! More to come in the future!

God Bless!

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Written by Ralinda McCoy

Spiritual heart Dr on a mission to heal, UPlift, and encourage the human spirit for Jesus Founder and CEO of #ThePofMe LLC est. 2018 Book Release August 11, 2018! (full title TBA soon)


  1. Antoinesse says:

    THIS! All.Of.This! Does being single suck at times, LORD YES! But I’d rather have whack single moments than a miserable and failed marriage. I pray for my husband (specifically) and I’ve noticed that in time, that list has changed and some things have been rearranged or eliminated all together. I always say that when I do get married it will be a life sentence. Divorce isn’t an option nor will it be in our vocabulary. Which is why I’ll remain (happily) single until my God ordained husband FINDS me (Proverbs 18:22)

    • Ralinda McCoy says:

      absolutely! Even in saying that, My ex-husband had to literally leave out of the door because i would have stayed married and miserable because of MY choice not God’s. Divorce wasnt an option for me but it wasnt an option for the right one if that made ANY sense! Waiting patiently for who ‘s designed for me <3

  2. Chanelle says:

    GIRL!! You just said a WORD and TWO-THIRDS when you said: “we were trying to fill a God intended space with human space.” He has convicted and corrected me about setting men up as idols. We have to be careful to honor the HUSBAND that He sends us while not exalting him higher than God. You end up in heartbreaking territory (speaking from experience) when you do that.

  3. Could not agree more. This is well said Ralinda. Thank you for being so transparent ❤

  4. “So, you mean to tell me, you want to participate in a God ordained union but you don’t want God to be on program? Is He only allowed to be present on Sunday mornings and when you feel like dealing with Him?” WHOA!!! This was very good.

    The Book and Gram got everybody confused. Yes, the frills are amazing, and the party is spectacular. But once you open that door, it’s just you, God, and that person. And pray you know at least two people in that room well.

  5. L. Miller says:

    Yes, yes, yes and yes!!!!!! Marriage is work PERIOD. And if married to the wrong one it can becomes overtime with benefits.

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