How Comparing Yourself to Others Can Lead to Toxic Emotions



I was an At Home Mom for 8 years. I truly loved being able to be there for my children and husband at all times. I enjoyed that my boss was handsome, funny and charming and that I didn’t have to clock in and out of work. My schedule was extremely flexible and I had the freedom to be creative and spontaneous. However, there were moments when I’d notice other women who had a family and a career, the thoughts of comparing my career to theirs would role in. I would feel less than. I thought that my career as a homemaker wasn’t enough. It wasn’t until the comment of a kind Dr. encouraged me to get rid of comparison.


“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” – Eleanor Roosevelt


“Many women believe that what they do isn’t enough, when really it is. Taking care of your family, is just as an important role as any other career. There is no greater responsibility.” that’s what Dr. D. told me upon a routine visit, after he asked me what I did for a living. Maybe he could tell in my voice that I didn’t think it was much to my career, but after I left that appointment my confidence was greater because he was absolutely right. It dawned on me, just as God gives us Spiritual gifts and we form one body of Christ. It’s the same with our natural gifts as well. Each of our roles in the world are important, uniquely serving and contributing to society.


“Just as the body, though one, has many different parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ.” 1Corinthians 12:12


For the church, each believer is given a special gift by the Spirit and has a role in the body of Christ; teachers, preachers, healers, one who discerns, prophets, intercessors and more (1 Corinthians 12:7-1, Romans 12:6-8). Each person has a particular area in which they are spiritually gifted in and all these gifts are given from God. Our Spiritual gifts are used to build up the church. We all have natural gifts as well, that are used in our daily life to serve others, we are educators, plumbers, artists, steelworkers, pilots, nurses etc. The reason we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others is because we may begin to believe one is greater than the other. We begin to lose confidence and faith on how we could possibly impact the world. If we were all steelworks then how would we be medically treated when ill. If we were all doctors how would we travel inflight to different destinations. Each role is significant. All roles put together and we have a fully functioning body. If we compare ourselves to one another and try to be something that we aren’t meant to be and that we aren’t gifted in, we are throwing the whole body off. We were designed with our special gifts in mind and we have to walk in them with confidence, believing that we are awesome no matter what our role is.


Think of the hospital. Is the doctor the only role that is needed? No. what about the nurse to treat, the custodian to maintain upkeep, the cafeteria workers to feed, the admin to register, the cashier to accept payment, the accountant to balance finances. The doctor could not do it all himself. All roles are important. No more important than the other. Without one, the hospital wouldn’t fully function well. You see, you play an important role as well. No matter what position you are in, your role is significant to the body in the world.


“Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.” – Galatians 6:4-5


Ladies After Wisdom, what are the emotions you feel when you are comparing your role to someone else? Sadness, because you think they are better, stress because you believe you must do more to catch up, discouraged, because you accept that you don’t measure up? All of those emotions come from the wrong mindset and they are so toxic.  You must know that whatever your job is, a homemaker, customer service agent, nurse, janitor, mailman etc, God has you on a specific assignment. What’s meant for you is for you. Enjoy the role you do have and find the greatness and joy in it. It’s wonderful to desire to be greater, to have a greater position and God can lead you in that direction. However, on your path to greater don’t put yourself down, believing you are not enough. Because you are. Walk in confidence in your role, while glorifying God in it.


L.A.W., on the other side, I’m hopeful that you are not the woman that looks down on others. Comparing your higher position to someone else, believing you are more than what you are. The bible says we ought not think more highly than ourselves (Romans 12:3), that is a dangerous ally to walk down, pride comes before the fall (Prov. 16:18). If you are the pilot, you are not better than the taxi driver, if you are the store manager, you are not better than the clerk. Walk in humility and balance. L.A.W., I love you. All is well =o).


Read: 1 Corinthians 12


Affirmations: If I am going to to compare myself to someone, I’ll compare myself to Christ. Desiring to be more and more like Him.


Prayer for Resisting Comparison: Father, it’s me again. What an awesome wonder you are! You are magnificent. Thank You for grace and mercy. Father, I know that I am unique and the role that You have given me is unique as well. However, at times, I feel like I am not enough. That I am not doing enough and I know that is a lie. I know that whatever I do, I am to do it all to the glory of You (1 Corinthians 10:31). Father, help me to realize that my position and my role is just as important as any other. Help me, not to feel less than when working with someone who seems to have a greater task at hand. Father, bless me to only compare myself to Christ, not to other Christians. Bless me to only have the desire to please You, not man (1 Thessalonians 2:4). Lead me to a greater confidence in You. Bless me to be humble in all that I do, for I know that with You, I will gain the victory (Psalms 108:13). Lead me to the right position in my community and society that will best glorify You.

In Jesus Name, Amen.


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Written by Aquilla

A Believer. A Wife. A Mom. A Writer. Continuously chasing after wisdom. Desiring to share whats being learned on this beautiful journey called life. All In hopes to encourage, uplift and motivate.

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